Usually by the time a couple comes in for counseling, one of them is already contemplating divorce. With 50% of all marriages ending in divorce and the fact that most couples do not seek counseling until they have had problems for over 6 years, it is important to seek help now! Truly commit yourself to trying to make your marriage work for at least 6 months and really work at it! In my experience, marital problems do not end in divorce court. They continue even after the divorce. So irregardless if you decide to stay in your marriage or get a divorce, you owe it to your kids, yourself and your spouse to get some help.
There are many legal, emotional and practical things to consider when contemplating divorce. How will divorce affect my children? Will I be able to manage financially? Why do I want to divorce? What led to these problems in the first place? What has been my contribution to the problems and is there something I haven't done that could help save the marriage? Or, will I ever be able to find happiness again? It is important explore these questions and to think about the impact divorce will have on you and your family both in the short and long term. If you have decided that divorce is the best option, and sometimes it is, especially when abuse or unaddressed substance abuse or addiction, is involved, I can help you move past the hurt and confusion, and help you, your kids and your family heal and chart a course for a new direction and chapter in your life.
Pre-Divorce Counseling can help you begin to learn ways to communicate civilly and effectively during the divorce process and learn how to best prepare your children and help them with the transition.
Post-Divorce Counseling can help you make decisions, rebuild your life and heal from the loss and grief, which can feel overwhelming at times. No matter how bad the relationship was, feeling all of the emotions associated with divorce, can sometimes feel worse than the feelings you had in your marriage. I can help you and your children understand the stages of grief and loss, learn coping skills to deal with the emotional pain of divorce, and provide a forum for everyone to receive help and support. Here is an article to help you get started on learning how to cope with divorce. I can also help you analyze the relationship factors that resulted in divorce, so that you can begin having healthier relationships and restore hope for your future. With time, help and support, you will feel a little better each day until you look back and see how far you have come and smile!
Coping Tasks for Divorced Families
Children and families of divorce need to achieve these 6 coping tasks in order to grow and heal from divorce. (Wallersteing, J.S. (1983)